Weddings are supposed to be happy occasions, the most special moments of the couple’s life, right? There has to be that jittery, butterfly-in-stomach kind of feeling before the first night. In most cases, it is still there.
But sadly, in some parts of our country, weddings are still mediums for downtrodding the female section of the society. In some orthodox cultures, still some weird customs are followed that make life for women a living hell after marriage.
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One such incident has been brought to light from a village in Nashik, Maharashtra. A man named Arjun, belonging to the powerful Kanajarbhat community, ended his marriage with his wife Yogita Abhiyekar-Karale, whom he got married to only 48 hours prior. And, the reason for this will leave you horrified. He left his wife because she did not pass the ‘virginity test’! Yes, we are serious.
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In this village, like many others in India, a newly-married bride has to prove her virginity, not only to her husband, but the entire village. Wait, that is not the worst part. The way this whole fiasco is conducted will leave you furious.
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The groom is provided with a white bedsheet before his first night with his new wife. The next morning, that bedsheet has to be displayed in front of the village panchayat, with blood stains on it (indicator of the hymen breaking). Yes, blood stains, because apparently that is proof enough of a girl being a virgin and not having any kind of relationship with a man before her wedding.
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It has been proven, that the hymen can break due to many other reasons apart from physical contact. Excessive exercise, running, jumping, and even horse riding can lead to your hymen being ruptured. But there is no way, that orthodox and illiterate people would understand this, and thus, practices as demeaning to women as this, are still openly being followed freely around our country.
Moreover, the girl had been preparing to get into the police force and thus had been following a very rigorous workout schedule. That could very well have been a legitimate reason for hymen to break. But, since she could not pass the so-called ‘test’, the panchayat permitted the man to end his marriage with her!
Also, how and why does it matter whether a girl is a virgin before her marriage or not? Have any such questions ever been put to a man? Are you a virgin? Have you had any relationships before your marriage? What? When? Why? Have they ever had to prove THEIR virginity to anybody, or pass any tests that proved it? The answer is a plain, simple NO!
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Then why are women put through such derogatory ordeals? These questions have now started to sound very hollow, mostly because answers to them do not exist, or probably nobody cares to find them out. People need to understand that it's a marriage, not a punishment.
Two social workers in the area, Krishna Chandgude and Ranjana Gavande, raised their voice against this wrongdoing on the part of the loathsome groom.
And now, as per latest reports, the man has apologised to his wife and taken her back. Ranjana says:
"We tried to talk to the girl and her parents at length. We have been saying they are under tremendous social pressure from Kanjarabhat caste panchayat."
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Krishna Chandgude, a member of Maharashtra Andhashraddha Nirmoolan Samiti, an anti-caste activists' group, told a leading tabloid:
"Ranjana Gavande and I went to the house and spoke to the girl and her parents. We tried to convince her father to file a police complaint, but he is afraid of the caste panchayat. Now, we are trying to meet the members of the panchayat and convince them to stop this feudal anti-constitutional act."
Yogita does not want any legal entanglement, now that the case has been resolved. But shockingly, the panchayat wanted to perform another absurd 'virginity test' on her, which involved her running naked, with just a metre of cloth covering either the upper or lower part of her body, with her being chased by the male members of the community. That's so horrendous! Thankfully, Yogita refused to go through with any such thing.
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The problem in this case was 'resolved' very soon and in a somewhat amicable way. But the root of the problem, still lies somewhere deep within our backward societies. Though these solutions turn out to be very short term, we still need to begin somewhere. After all, we have to walk before we can run, right?
