Career, commitment, bad past and freedom; are these some of the basic excuses given by your friend to call off the marriage process as much as possible? We know you have left no stone unturned to persuade her, but trying to convince an anti-marriage friend is like fitting a rhinoceros through a rat-hole. No matter what, it is time to re-shape her mindset and keep her worries at bay.
Here are some genuine reasons that make her wary off marriage and the ideas for you to make her all set to tie the knot.
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Make the slightest mention of marriage and she will not be seen. Well, your buddy is different who can’t allow herself to be tamed. That her hobbies, ambitions and career would come second to the domestic responsibilities haunt her badly and hence, she becomes totally against the marriage norm.
Advice- Go in for examples of career women who are balancing well between home and office. Talk to her about the sense of duty; be it her office or home. Sooner or later, she has to take charge of her life. Being a new-age woman, she must understand her duties and not run away just because she has extra tasks in hand.
There are girls who have this fear of being heartbroken by husband or in-laws and also cannot deal with the 'not-meeting-expectations' phase. Hence, they come with a statutory warning “not made for marriage”. And your friend is probably one of those. She thinks she is better-off alone and just can’t trade her happiness and independence for anything in the world.
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Advice- In such cases, the reason to reject proposals is the love for independence and singlehood but that does not mean she will spend her whole life alone. Track her down the positive ideas of being in a relationship and that staying away is not the solution. To instill her faith in the marital bond, tell her about the families whom she can trust for giving her the best of life. She must face the beautiful institution of marriage than worrying about it going wrong.
Also Read: 12 Signs That Your Spouse Might Be Commitment-Phobic And You Don't Even Know It
Today, the outlook of women has changed towards marriage. Women today are into jobs, meeting new people and are financially stable, the reason even Mr. Right is not good enough for her. Either she does not want to be married at all or did not find anybody perfect.
Advice- Respect her independence and individuality, but at the same time explain to her that career and financial stability is not the end of it. One needs an emotional support system as well. By putting the guys under a microscope; she can never find an appropriate match. Not everyone in this world is perfect, so she must not build expectations that will hamper her life later. If you are married and working, give her your own example. Offer your personal opinion on the need of being hooked up.
Her relationship is long over but the bitter traces are still pricking her. Regretting over the past does not allow her to enter into a new one. She keeps sobbing and lets in a great amount of the memories so as to affect her present and the future.
Advice- Acknowledge her pain and throw ideas to deal with the emotions of her past in a positive way. Fine, she cannot forget her unresolved past but to link past incidence to a new relationship won’t do her good either. It is time to re-evaluate them to start off fresh. Influence her to heal all her sorrows by entering into a new relationship.
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In Indian society, it is quite normal to expect an arrival of baby soon after the marriage. Elders start putting too much emphasis on a baby as soon as the bride is home. Kids are wonderful, but the marriage being the basis of kids and vice versa becomes the basis of your friend’s anxiety. Such unreasonable demands put her off and hence the big ‘NO’ to marriage.
Advice- The easiest and best way here is to talk about the change in society and the mindset of families. Kids might be a breaking point for her decision but not all families push for kids. Still if she has doubts; she can talk to the groom about expanding families and that she is not in a hurry. You never know, he might be having similar goals for kids.
Unhappy marriages around could be very toxic in taking a decision for yourself. Your friend might have seen the whole episode of marriage as dangerous. She might have noticed a friend’s, cousin’s or parents’ relationship crumbling and thought of it as “Oh that’s what marriage is”. These all might have taken away her belief in a successful marriage.
Advice- Give a willing ear to her opinions but ask her not to explore the flip side only. Just like two sides of the coin; there are two aspects to marriage; bad as well as good! If she is skipping the good ones in her analysis; calm her down by saying that there are too many things in life that can go wrong; career, health anything. Enlighten her with positive examples of marital success and love. Explain to her that not all marriages are bad. At times, destiny too does play a role.
Also Read: 10 Easy Tips To Instagram Your Wedding Flawlessly
Yes, for many girls, sex is something 'awkward' and the reasons could be many. Self-consciousness, being introvert, insecurity with body or opposite gender could be the reasons she is avoiding marriage at all costs. Not every girl is comfortable with the opposite sex.
Advice- To start off, make her feel confident about herself and her body. Ask her to shed her inhibitions by hanging out more with her friends; both females and males. Leaving home and coming out of a shell would make her cool. Besides, also explain to her the role of marriage in life. How it is a healthy union which not only brings two bodies together, but also creates life. Remember, do not give her ‘have-you-lost-it’ suggestions like “standing in front of mirror naked” etc. because she might find it weird.
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There are more than a hundred reasons that one should get married for. But being a close friend, your role is not only to pester her for marriage but also make her believe in this norm. Marriage is not meant to stop someone from dreaming or being ambitious. Entering into this bond is a part of one’s life. It depends on a person how he/she handles the whole new life and relationships. Besides; you can only present your opinions to your friend.
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