Marriage is a big affair in India. No, we aren’t talking about the big fat Indian wedding and its very rituals. We’re talking about its implications which make it big. In India, when a girl gets married and becomes a woman, she leaves her parents’ home. Her identity gets associated with her in-laws. More often than not, even her surname changes.
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Does this mean that her responsibility towards her own parents ceases with marriage? Just yesterday, the Indian Supreme Court in its revolutionary verdict abolished triple talaq, thereby; giving Muslim women their own rights. Amidst all this, Star Plus show Mann Kee Awaaz Pratigya fame, Muslim actress Sana Amin Sheikh has come out and spoken about the responsibilities that daughters have towards their parents even after marriage. Sana herself is married to director Aijaz Shaikh.
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According to TelllyChakkar, Sana was quoted as saying:
“After getting married, a woman goes to her husband’s house and her entire attention move towards her new family, leaving behind her parents. I feel that the daughter’s mother and father should also have the right to live with her after marriage and the daughter should also take care of them like her husband’s family. Sometimes, I even hear that the working women have to invest their salaries in their in-laws’ house.”
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Isn’t this true in our Indian society? Speaking more about a daughter’s responsibility, she adds:
“Parents raise their daughters with a lot of effort and sometimes they take loans for her marriage but why can't a girl take responsibility of taking care of her own parents who are growing old? I am taking care of my mother even after getting married.”
In fact, Sana also posted a picture on her Instagram handle asking to have a social rule that daughters should be allowed to take care of their parents after marriage. Here’s the picture:
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And lastly, she comments:
“I wonder why a girl can’t live with her parents post marriage! After my marriage have I realised why our parents put in so much effort to raise us. And then one day, we abandon them and go to live in another house and start obeying them?! Why do such rules exist in India? Your parents should be your first priority.”
It’s commendable, isn’t it? What makes her statements even more interesting is the fact that Sana herself is a Muslim woman. And in relation to this, her words can be seen from the perspective of those Muslim women who have not been in favour of the abolishment of triple talaq.
That is what makes it striking, that these words have been spoken by a) a Muslim b) a woman. So, those Muslim women who, under the garb of conservatism and religion, do not favour the SC’s verdict, please watch out what your own fellow Muslim woman is saying. And take inspiration from her.
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Another thing to be noted here is that her words not only speak about womanhood and marriage as an institution, but go beyond such realms. They question the taboos associated with marriage itself in our society. They question the very binary of feminine and masculine, that men are allowed to put up with their parents after marriage but daughters have to leave their homes.
Well said Sana! These are remarkable words because beyond the responsibility that a daughter has towards her parents, she is implying that the socio-construct of marriage is such that a daughter becomes of her in-laws after marriage. And even if she wants to take care of her parents, she isn’t allowed to do so. What are your views on this matter? Do let us know in the comments section below.
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