By Megha Sehgal Last Updated:
A good marriage requires healthy communication; and listening to your partner forms an important part of it. However, there will be times when your husband does not listen to you. When such a problem arises, the relationship, we are afraid might go for a toss.
Well, we all know that every problem has a solution. So, this is how you can make him listen to you.
You should know the art to deliver exactly what you want to say. Use a tone that he understands. Be clear, and specific about what you want as sometimes they do not understand what you need from them. Also, if you are going round and round in conversation, then it might seem boring to your husband. Better, come to the point. Men usually, do not really like listening to long stories at a single stretch. They have a very short attention span. So, be specific and deliver the message in a concise manner.
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Lack of interest is the biggest barrier in listening to what the wife has to say. He may not be interested in the topic you are talking about. So, before you start talking, just ask him whether he is interested in hearing about it. And if he still does not show an interest, then get him interested in a creative way. Remember, if he is not interested, then he would not listen to you at all. His disinterest in listening to you might be a dangerous sign. It can be a warning that your marriage is in trouble.
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Another reason that he might not want to listen to you, is ego clash. It might be possible that your man is revolting due to a recent argument which you thought was resolved, but is still an issue for him. Maybe he feels that he is always right, and does not need to be told how to do things. If this is the case, then make sure you talk to him in a constructive way. Do not ever order him to do things if he is egoistic. You need to be very tactful, and avoid being dominating, so as not to hurt his 'male ego'. Follow the age old formula- “Slyly feed him your thoughts, but let him think that they are his own.”
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Every mother knows her children very well. So, in such situations, you would need to work with your mother-in-law and seek her advice. She will be the best person to suggest how to make your man understand your point. Ask you mother-in- law about his childhood days to understand his mindset. This will make your task easier to make him listen to you. You can even take her help too. You should always pay heed to advice given by elders. So, go seek advice from moms and follow them.
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Talking to your husband about something important, when he is watching a cricket game, or when he is tired or in a bad mood is not a good idea. To make him listen to you, you would need to wait for the right time as timing is everything. With right timing comes the right place too. Some men do not like to talk about crucial things in public places, or in family gatherings. So, choose the right place and time when he can actually listen to you. A piece of advice here, talk to him while he is driving beside you. It will give you guys plenty of lone time to talk and listen to each other. Just make sure when you are talking to him you are not on a 'busy road'. After all, safety comes first.
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Presuming things can create a lot of problems in a relationship. Mind is the most powerful tool to control everything. If you have already assumed that your husband will not listen to you, then it is a problem with yourself. You need to solve this first at your end. Be open-minded, and have faith that he will understand and listen to you. There can be a possibility that your husband too has presumed that your point is illogical, or whatever you are about to say is not right. So, you both would need to be open-minded before starting the conversation.
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Getting someone to listen you is really a tough task, but not an impossible one. With love, understanding and patience, your husband will start paying full attention to whatever you have to say. So, follow our advice and see the changes soon in him.